Apparently I have unintentionally offended my dear Father-in-law. He's a wonderful man and I love him deeply. I would never set out to hurt or embarrass him, but it seems that I have. Matt's parents accessed our blog for the first time yesterday and Dad told Matt that I'm now on his "list" because I identified myself as "a Roman Catholic Army wife". He doesn't understand why I didn't just call myself a Christian and leave it at that; and he felt that I put that description on there to "rub it in his face". "It", of course, being our recent conversion to the authentic, historic Christianity preserved in the Catholic church. I was more than a little surprised that those two words were the sole source of his displeasure with me, given that I've tried to so hard to be sensitive to our mostly Protestant blog readers, ergo this separate blog.
On Christmas Dad called and told us he'd "come to terms" with our being Catholic. His Baptist theology gives him the assurance that Matt and I and our older kids who've previously made a Profession of Faith (read: been "born again") are safe because nothing we can do could ever cause us to lose our salvation. We've never fully bought into the once-saved-always-saved theology of our Baptist family members, but I'm thankful that it's provided a demilitarized zone for us. I'm guessing that Dad was hoping if he didn't argue with us over this and instead offered to "let it go" that our Catholicism might someday, quietly go away. My public declaration of our alignment with Rome must have shot that hope out of the water, so he's unhappy with me.
I don't enjoy conflict and usually avoid it like the plague. Honestly, if conflict is "here" I'm running full speed ahead to get as close to "there" as possible before it hits. One of the big things I struggled with in our conversion was the potential for mass relational casualties due to ugly religious conflicts. But something fundamentally shifted in me when I received my First Communion. I'm no longer afraid of people. I'm no longer concerned about who will or won't understand or who will choose to remain our friends. To Catholics this kind of division over religion doesn't make a lot of sense and often sounds ridiculous, but in the Protestant camp it's very, very real. When the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of our Lord Jesus entered my body He healed me of the fear that had guided most of my adult life. The fear of people not liking me. The fear of people I love thinking I've lost my mind. (How pathetically self-focused!) The first time I heard the prayer "Lord, I am not worthy to receive You, but only say the word and I SHALL be healed." I knew in my heart that Jesus would completely set me free. But I anticipated a slow, gradual freedom, not this surprising about-face that has completely unshackled me! Pleasing my Lord is the only thing that truly matters to me anymore. That single goal is what drives me to be the best wife and mother I can be. To love and encourage and support my husband with everything that I am. To love and nurture and form each one of our children and prepare them to live lives in obedience to His will. To love those He places in my path, encouraging the tired and overwhelmed, blessing those in need, exhorting as His Spirit leads. When Christ physically entered me my eyes suddenly turned outward. I'd had no idea how inward I was focused until then.
So if others are offended or embarrassed by my proud declaration that I'm a Roman Catholic, I make no apologies. I can not and will not deny my Lord and what He's done for me! I have already come to know Him more intimately and tangibly in His Church than I ever imagined was possible this side of Heaven.
"Whoever confesses me before others I will confess before my Father in Heaven. But whoever denies me before others, I will deny before my heavenly Father." Mt. 10:32-33
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17 comments:
I am beyond thrilled to finally see the words coming forth from your soul that I always knew were locked up in there....and to read what you're saying is giving me hope.
I get frustrated when different people/groups use the same phrases for doctrines, such as once-saved-always-saved, and how someone from another group (let's say, RC) interprets it or tries to understand it from just one perspective. Your FIL and I may have some of the same ideas towards what I may call Preservation of the Saints, but I would venture to say that mine has more depth. Yes, that's probably prideful. But I cannot imagine the baptistic view has any more than shallow(er) words, much like their memorial view of Communion. I'm not camping out in the Reformed camp -- just need to again try to say that it's not the same. It IS more like a middle ground between generically baptistic/main street Protestantism and the RCC. Not saying the middle is good, but I happen to think it's "more" than over there....I've just gabbed myself into a corner...I know.
And where in the world does the boldness and "assurance" that the RCC is HIS Church come from? RCC developed over time but what was actually left in those very early days? There's nothing on earth that looks that simplistic.
Still holding on to the idea of the Church being ALL belivers; not able to be as exclusive as RC seems to be.
Great verse added at the end of this blog -- but I'm not denying HIM. No offense taken at all. Just trying to get the truth. Not sure anyone can hold that market except that Jesus said, "I AM the Way, the Truth, and the Life."
He asked the question, "Who do you say that I am?" And that has to be the bottom line.
I'm smiling at you and choosing not to poke you while you're in your corner!
Where does the assurance come from? It comes from believing exactly what Jesus said and is bolstered by the historical writings of those who were personally taught by the Apostles, as well as those who succeeded them. You're right about the bottom line, as far as acknowledging Christ's diety; but it certainly doesn't stop there. (I'm loving the irony of you choosing that passage!) Jesus goes on to rename Peter and give him a new leadership role in the soon to be developing church. The recorded historical evidence of Rome's supremacy in the life of the fledgling church can't be ignored or denied. From the first century on the Bishop of Rome is set apart as having the ultimate earthly spiritual authority. Many letters have been uncovered both to and from the Bishop of Rome in which the spiritual authority of Rome is without question. Even letters written by people who didn't like a particular Pope or his leadeship reflect a clear understanding of Rome's position of authority within the church. St. Paul's writings are very clear about believers needing to maintain unity of belief, thought, and practice.
God laid the foundation for a single, united Church in the OT. He choose one race of people to be His people. Did that mean He didn't love the Gentiles as much? Of course not! But in His divine wisdom He choose one race to set the standard and reflect His glory to the world. When salvation was made available to the Gentiles it was with the understanding that the Gentiles would adopt the practices and beliefs of the church, not the other way around. There was always one church, that hasn't changed. Which is why unity is such a common theme in scripture. Without unity the church would surely fracture, as it sadly did.
You're right about nothing on earth looking as simplistic as the early church did. But what other aspects of our civilization has retained the simple understandings of its beginning? As mankind has developed and grown in our understandings of life, the universe, and everything our expressions of those things has changed as a reflection of our deeper understanding. Did God intend our understanding of His creation to stop at "The heavens declare the glory of God"? That was all man was really able to comprehend at that time, but now we understand so much more about His amazing creation, even down to the molecular level. King David would have burst an aneurism if someone had tried to explain molecules and cells to him, but science was in its infancy back then. In the same way, the church has refined and glamorized Her practices as our understanding of the deeper meanings of scripture and tradition grow. The trappings are meant to reflect our understanding and help us go deeper. Take them away and you're left with the bare bones, "milk" theology of the early church. Over the ensuing centuries God has graciously, slowly introduced us to solid food and now we eat meat.
Does that help?
ILY
You chose that verse in your blog, and I commented on it (didn't choose it). Yes, it makes sense. I'm all about milk right now, I guess. Nothing else seems to digest very well. Gotta go eat ham and peas!
I'm no longer afraid of people. I'm no longer concerned about who will or won't understand or who will choose to remain our friends. To Catholics this kind of division over religion doesn't make a lot of sense and often sounds ridiculous, but in the Protestant camp it's very, very real. When the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of our Lord Jesus entered my body He healed me of the fear that had guided most of my adult life. The fear of people not liking me. The fear of people I love thinking I've lost my mind.
Oh sweet sister!! AMEN!! I'm YELLING it at the top of my lungs!!
This was exactly what I had tried to explain - albeit pitifully (I lack the eloquence of you & Mel) - about the ridiculous 'lines' that have been drawn by our separated brethren.
Prayers for the extended family who may never fully accept this freedom in which you now revel!
...I don't feel like *I'm* the one drawing the lines....again, the disdain for labels that restrict...
The ham and peas comment obviously refers to our traditional New Year's Day dinner, not some spiritual analogy. I'm not trackin' with ya on the (real) meat thing; we're such carnivores. But oh, the oneness of God's Body on earth, I hear ya.
I'll have to pull out the lesson I went through a few weeks ago, the New Covenant prophecied in the Old Testament....how it says in black and white that ISRAEL is the Body...and then all the verses about Gentiles being ingrafted (yet not circumcised to be counted as Believers) -- remember those arguments Paul and some early Believers had?
Thanks for listening.
What do you think is the bottom line of all this? (I asked so I must want to know....just don't throw tomatoes.)
Hi, Other Deb. I truly am thankful for God answering my prayer in July 2007 to bring someone else on board with this journey. Coffee soon?
Mel,
The bottom line is authority. That's been the bottom line for every ideology since the beginning of time. I reached the point where my issue with one man believing he had the authority to recompile the canon and reject the established authority of the previous 1500 years outweighed my lack of understanding on specific teachings. (I'm sure there should have been punctuation somewhere in there.) I came to realize that I had everything backward. I was holding up MY personal interpretations of scripture and demanding that the church explain to me why we didn't agree. I realized that it was *my* interpretations that were new and revolutionary, not the church's. She had been consistently teaching the same thing for over 1500 years before my ideas came on the scene! And *my* ideas weren't even really my own, but those of whichever authoritative Bible teacher I most believed was right (at that time). And I accused the RCC of being a religion of men?!?
Your turn for a question. Are you sure enough of your sola scriptura position, that if you had been born 1900 years ago you'd be willing to stand up against the documented beliefs of the church at that time?
When I honestly asked myself the same question I knew that I wasn't. I knew that if I had proclaimed then what I did now, I'd have been labeled a heretic. Ouch! That thought pretty much freaked me out. But every Bible teacher that teaches anything other than what the first followers of Jesus believed and practiced, is teaching something new. The church doesn't need to justify it's position, we do. It hasn't moved from it's original position, we did.
Does that answer your question or did I ramble too much again?
Deb,
To assert that you lack eloquence is nothing less than laughable! I *wish* I could write with your flair for the humorous! I laugh out loud at your verbiage!
I'm so glad someone else felt some of the same things I have. Matt's experiences have been different, his transition easier, so I often feel like a freak! In all honesty if probably has nothing to do with this, though. It most likely stems from something much more deserving of a freakish self-perception.
Thanks, again. Again, with the heart and brain and all those other quivering internal parts -- right on my sleeve for all to see and hopefully be kind to....
No, my position on sola Scriptura is not 100%. And there you have it. The process I'm going through is to prove to myself (and others?) that there is much confusion within Protestant communities about its meaning. Much of the generic, uninformed Prot. truly gives NO credance to ANYthing that is remotely Catholic. I am amazed at how much the Mass was familiar to Andy and me due to our traditional church settings -- what a thrill! If I was to compare Crossroads or any other seeker-sensitive church down the street to SMM where we visited, it would be like two different planets. I think that's why we were drawn back to the more traditional, bordering-on-liturgical settings a few years back. My rabbit trail really does have a point....
The original meaning of sola Scriptura did not throw out the creeds or councils or anything from the first century or so. It knew a church had to be the interpreter of Scripture and that it was entrusted to the Believers around the world to guard it with their lives. This business of having "just" the Bible (God forgive me if this is irreverant -- it does not lessen my LOVE of God's plan that is in writing) -- the scenerio of "if you were on a deserted island with only one possession, what would it be?? and the crowd says THE BIBLE", well, we ALL know that that leads to chaos because there is no one to interpret it. That's the point of the "creed" blog over there.... Can you see that??
I guess I need more history. From what is in the writings of Scripture, I do not see the form of government or succession that is said to be in place today. I just need more faith. Don't you see? I WANT the faith. I've ASKED for it. There's still a blockage, and part of it is that FEAR of people. Part of it is that I KNOW He has called me to some service for Him, and that MANY good things were done for Him and in His Name in 2007.
Oh, God forbid, He say to me He never knew me....I'll shut up now.
I'd already planned to blog about service in 2007. REGARDLESS of the divorce analogy....you cannot deny that He has still worked within this sinful and fallen world to produce great preachers, musicians, speakers, writers, theologians even. His Kingdom is bigger than any of us give it credit.
I was shutting up....
New Years night -- I've read these words again and again -- and with each time, I more encouraged and somehow strengthened. I am glad that it was more dramatic than you anticipated (thinking it would be gradual), for that gives it strength in your testimony (is that an RC word, too??)
LY
Mel - yes - Catholics have testimonies!!
May I offer you the same challenge that I offered my Bible study lady friends?? If you can find me 12 - just 12 - scholars from the year '0' through the year 1500, who believe the same way you do now, I'll join your denomination - but if I can find you 12,000 who believed then what we STILL believe now, you'll have to join mine......
2,000 years of living history...why be somewhere with someone still hoping they've got it right??
And that's all I'll say - there's a reason I'm not in your inner sanctum & it's my mouth!! (which will forevermore be zipped!!) =0)
And the prayer was about *your* Deb, nerd!!
(oh my!!!! word verification is 'tantryk'!!)
I love that challenge, Deb! I wish someone had given it to me a couple of years ago...might have warmed my cold feet. The crazy thing is that, as I'm sure Mel will attest, the mind does crazy things in an effort to maintain the status quo. I would have tried all sorts of explanations and justifications or dismissed your challenge out of hand; but it would have haunted me. I thought I understood, (but really didn't until I was on the other side of it) that fear is one of Satan's biggest weapon. Certain the one he continuously wielded against me.
Hey, Mel, remember that SCC song about being free? We first heard if over here in 96 or 97. Something about dancing and windows being opened......(I can see it now..we're going to be hanging out together as little old ladies and you're going to have to keep telling me your name.)
Yes, I remember the song, "Free." It's about being set free from prison. The analogy is one going from death to life, from a state of no belief to one being set free from sin that first time and the radical, eternal difference it makes in their life. I remember hearing it that first time (and 2nd, and 3rd, etc.), and Andy and I still weep when we hear it. The grace of God is just that good, to choose a sinner from the pit and set him/her free to everlasting life. Yes, I remember that song -- the dancing, the twirling (oh wait, that was my daughter..., the release from chains.
BTW, my name is Melinda, and you can call me Mel. I hope we both still have our teeth when we're on that cruise when we're 90! I'm thinkin' we deserve one before then! By then I know I will have forgotten your name, too, so thanks a lot for you two having the same name so I only have to remember one! I say DEB, and you both answer. Good deal.
I continue to write and pray and read and meditate. But the other night as I was backing up my RC files onto the memory stick (including all blog entries), I ended up spontaneously deleting the blog. Not by accident, but not really planned. I thought about it for a second and was glad I had saved all writings onto the thumb drive. Emails and IMs are there, too, and I continue to add to it. It may have disappeared into cyberspace but it has not been erased from my memory or my pink memory stick.
DB and I IMed for over three hours yesterday!! You've got a couple of neurotic friends, Deb! Man! Can we talk a lot or what?
I'm working through some stuff. I think it's funny how you described your FIL's area of safety as the "DMZ." That's where I am sitting, somehow without a country like the border of the Koreas, guarding and protecting both, seeing family and friends on both sides, wishing I could just leave my post to go to the bathroom then go get a good meal.
I don't know what else to say. I've been challenged to truly sit down and write out my beliefs, and I'm working on that. I can see both! I know what's familiar; I know what is looking more historical and real; and I'm just so stubborn to say I want both to come together. At least on the family blog, there will be more exposure - but not a conversion letter at this time.
(You can post on the family blog anytime you want to - but use your other sign-in name, please.)
"When salvation was made available to the Gentiles it was with the understanding that the Gentiles would adopt the practices and beliefs of the church, not the other way around." (these are your words)
from me -- Yes, Gentile Believers were ingrafted into Israel. But over and over, Israel ends up being shown to be those who believe in Jesus Christ, regardless of nationality or practice. I'm starting to see Gentiles earlier and earlier in Scripture, like Joseph's sons that Jacob blessed and received 2 of the 12 tribes -- and Ruth -- and several in Christ's geneology -- and when in Colossians 2 and in Romans 2 it talks about a circumcision of the heart (New Covenant language) and several other places where circ. is not necessary for a Gentile Believer (not having to convert to Judaism just to be counted as "in").
As DB says so well, what saith thou?
Hey ~ how are you?? Not just "fine," huh?! Wish we could talk soon. I always look forward to your stories on this blog.
Much, much love to you,
my covenant friend.
Your no-other-label-but-Christian sis-in-Christ,
me
Please get Matt to add to this blog, too! We'd love to hear his side!!
What else do you have to share on this site? The interaction is good.
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